Voisser - Recent Voisses in Adulthood & Life Lessons

What's a time you had so many reasons to fall apart but you didn't? Who or what held you together?

Thu, 21 Jul 2022 01:49:54 +0000

I'll go first...2020.

Now when I think about it, it feels like I was floating through that year and just decided not to think or feel too much. For the most part of it, everyday and most nights I turned on my laptop and worked because I knew the if I took a break, I might just fall apart like Humpty Dumpty and not have it in me nor have the resources to put myself back together.

In January, a romantic relationship I was in had to end. Around that time a close friendship fell apart too. Then the pandemic and series of lockdown began in March. Then, a mentor I had known for about 8 years suddenly passed away in April. Then a mentor's daughter around my age passed away in May. Then, I graduated from college and struggled to land my first full-time job until about 5 months later. Then, when I found a job, it was in a new city and state. So, in October I had to move far away from my mom and younger ones whom I had become so interdependent with. As an introvert, I already felt pretty lonely and alone in the city I lived before but moving to a new state in the middle of a pandemic felt way worse. My first saving grace was that I moved in with my sister.

It wasn't until middle of 2021, once I got settled with my new job and began therapy that it really dawned on me that 2020 was a really heart-breaking year. Most importantly, I admitted to myself that if I fell apart then or now, I had the permission to.

God held me together. Reading and working endlessly did too. I was either working on a project, volunteer opportunity, internship or doing my job. At some point I overworked just because I knew if I stopped working, I might start crying and be unable to stop.

We are in 2022 now and I have slowed down in working with the goal of stopping here and there in the upcoming months to take a break.

What areas of other people's lives do you judge for being mediocre? What areas of your life are mediocre?

Sun, 17 Jul 2022 18:59:13 +0000

I am a goal-oriented, academic, and career-driven person. But, especially in my late teens and early twenties, it just didn't make sense to me when someone would, for example, see a scholarship they qualify for and have no interest in applying despite needing the money. Or when someone qualifies for a better job elsewhere but is just so contented with where they are at the moment. Or, when someone consistently nags about a situation but makes no effort to take themselves out of it, when to me, there is a clear way out.

I also used to be a "fixer" - Olivia Pope-the-second and Annalise Keating's firstborn. I would overstretch myself and, even sometimes, do more than the person who needs to fix their problems or move forward in their life. It gave me joy at some point, and I found fulfillment doing such tasks. Until I didn't anymore and I became curious about the weak points of my own life.

Taking a step back, sometimes, just listening and not encouraging people to change what I consider mediocre in their life taught me several lessons. I also stopped offering myself up to solve problems, especially if I am aware of a service or person elsewhere whose job is to do so. But, most importantly, when I sorted my life and cleared most of my schedule - removing whatever was affiliated with helping someone else resolve their mediocre points, I realized mine.

As an introvert, I am beyond unmotivated when it comes to socializing with people. I will do it if the social circumstances are predictable, and I know some people who will be there and have had enjoyable conversations with them in the past. However, no amount of guilt-tripping or motivational speech from close friends and family makes me care about socializing. Do I say I want friends? Yes. And do I nag about being alone or lonely sometimes? Absolutely yes! But do I care about doing anything to fix it right now despite knowing where to look or start from? No.

Just to clarify, it isn't that I don't leave my house at all; I do but in a very self-prioritized and minimalistic way. For example, I go to church sometimes (although I disappear immediately after service). I also do not like parties but sign me up for professional networking events, and I'll be there. I also prefer lunch with 1-3 friends at most than group lunch or gatherings. I communicate mostly with my immediate nuclear family and don't talk to extended ones except my mother insists. I am aware of the value of relationships, read books and watch videos about them, but I have very little interest in making a change in that area of my life even when I need it.

An extrovert who evaluates my life from that lens might consider it one that's not being maximized or lived to its potential. However, the more I take a step back from trying to fix other people's points of mediocrity, the more mine glares at me. Also, the less judgmental I have become.

What are some of the best books that changed your life?

Tue, 07 Jun 2022 12:59:23 +0000

What is your favourite daydream?

Wed, 12 May 2021 13:20:48 +0000

What is your favourite daydream?

If everyone is unique, isn't everyone special?

Fri, 30 Apr 2021 12:59:43 +0000

What's one strong opinion you had but you've changed your mind about?

Fri, 23 Apr 2021 22:23:56 +0000

When has someone you respected done something that shocked and disappointed you?

Fri, 23 Apr 2021 08:24:14 +0000

What's your biggest regret?

Thu, 22 Apr 2021 10:14:09 +0000

How did you deal with an embarrassing false accusation and what lessons did you learn from the experience?

Wed, 14 Apr 2021 19:48:38 +0000

How did you deal with an embarrassing accusation and what lessons did you learn from the experience?

What’s one genuinely ‘it’s-not-what-you-think situation’ you have been in?

Thu, 22 Oct 2020 14:48:47 +0000