Voisser - Recent Voisses and Replies in Marriage & Weddings

Replied: For marriage, what do men want in a woman?

Tue, 19 Sep 2023 17:22:22 +0000

This topic can't be overemphasized enough, but also they are different opinions or wants from different men, what could be other man's needs in a woman could be different than the next. However here's some of the qualities i 'think' most men might agree with.

1) Home-maker: Men adore women who can take care of them and their kids on days that aren't able to. A woman who can be relied on and someone who you can build and share your dreams with.

2) A Personal Advisor: someone who you can share your views with and they can comprehend topics you bring to the table incase you need clarity and also unbiased opinions.

3) Obedience: A man should be able to command authority effortlessly and the woman should be able to obey. But this is very sensitive too, in as much as she can obey instructions, its important that she's able to speak out when she feels like she's been abused or taken for granted. They should be a level ground between both parties always.

4) God fearing: We live in a modern society where people don't regard God has anything but its important that a woman should be able to teach her kids how to pray and be kind whenever its necessary. A woman who sees God has her center will always have grace in her house. Not every thing is all about bad and boujee.

5) Friend/Companion: Most men appreciate a woman who is their best friend and favorite person in the entire world. A woman who isn't quick to judge & cast her man if she hears anything from other people outside her family. A sincere support system is vital in any marriage.

Replied: What specific, measurable qualities do women generally desire in a husband?

Wed, 24 Aug 2022 22:44:00 +0000

Na wa o! I came here looking for answers but no word...

I go sha wait.

Replied: What were some naive opinions you had about marriage, that changed when you got married?

Fri, 12 Aug 2022 08:56:36 +0000

I'm thinking about this, I am seriously wondering about the many things that I might have thought about but nothing comes to mind. Maybe because I had worked as an intern on several marriages before I had known about many people's expectations too - that sex will be too sweet and be forever and ever, you never tire and you just keep going and going, breakfast lunch and dinner... to mention the more popular one. The other negative and positive experiences. Maybe I will come back and put some more thoughts but truth is: the taste of the pudding is truly in the eating. Marriage is beautiful and I wouldn't trade my experience at all.

Replied: Is it 'gold-digging' for a woman to seek for a husband that is rich?

Tue, 09 Aug 2022 09:21:47 +0000

Last week, a friend told me a story about a guy who resented a lady for rebuffing all his advances.

Some years later, he found out she had started a beautiful family with another man of better means, who has provided her with a comfortable life, while he still struggles to make ends meet. After a quick pondering, he began to laugh at himself, as he openly admitted the lady made the right decision as she would have been miserable with him. She did what she thought was best for her.

I think in most contexts, the usages of the word "gold-digger" are unfair to women.

Why? It's because nature designed women to desire and seek out the most valuable male they can attract, who has status, competence and resources. That's not gold digging, that's biology, and that's protecting her best interest and securing the future of her offsprings. Love is not an acceptable currency for rent and school fees anywhere in the world.

If you are a male and you have a problem with this, you might need to increase your productivity (double your hustle). Women are nurturers, men are providers. You'll never find a man of means or on track to means complain about "gold-diggers", instead they gladly use their resources to their advantage.

It's just like back in secondary school. If an unscheduled "tear a sheet of paper for a quick test" made you break out in sweats and protests, you probably weren't one of the brilliant and studious, ever-ready students in your class.

If you are a woman reading this, nothing good comes for free. Those kind of men who have worked hard to make themselves competitive would want something in return too. You want a priest (leader), protector and provider in them, they want fitness, femininity, and agreeableness in you.

If you won't 'settle' for a man you think is not your best offer, neither will they for a woman who doesn't fit their requirements.

Replied: What are some things you miss after getting married?

Thu, 09 Dec 2021 11:38:08 +0000

I miss having 100% of my time to just do whatever I felt like.

I miss being able to be "light on my feet": Get a call at 3pm for a function at 4pm and get up and be there by 4.30pm.

I miss the energy of knowing I could if I wanted to. Not saying I want to now, absolutely not...but you know the energy of knowing that I could let my charm run loose with just about anyone. I miss that energy.

Replied: What are the arguments for marriage compared to co-habitation?

Fri, 30 Apr 2021 15:02:39 +0000

I can think of two ways to answer this; from a relationship quality point of view and from a legal benefit standpoint.

Relationship Quality
It is easy to assume that there isn't much difference between a cohabiting relationship and a married one, besides the legal document that one lacks, but a research by The Wheatley Institution and National Marriage Project confirms there are relationship quality gaps between both.

The following were the key findings.

After adjusting for education, age and relationship duration, married adults are more likely to report being happy in their relationship compared to cohabiting adults. For cohabiting men and women there was a 40% and 35% likelihood of being in the group with the highest relationship satisfaction. For married women and men, it was respectively a 54% and 49% likelihood.

By using metrics that guaged how much individuals valued their relationship and wanted it to continue, married adults were found to be more likely to report higher levels of commitment in their relationships. For married adults it was 46% and for cohabiting adults it was about 30%. This is understandable given that in another study the top reasons cohabiting couples provided for living together were convinience, financial benefits, and 'testing the relationship', all of which are 'less committed' reasons for which people get married.

Lastly, married adults were found more likely to report higher levels of stability in their relationship (defined by how likely respondents thought their relationship would continue). After adjusting for age, education and relationship duration, it was 54% overall for married adults, while for cohabiting adults it was 28%

Legal Benefits Standpoint (English Law)
Unlike what many cohabiting couple think, each is not considered to be their partners common law spouse, and thus can't make financial claims against their partner if the relationship hits a bricwall in the future. A common law marriage doesn't exist under the English law, cohabiting couples do not have the same legal rights and financial protections that married couple enjoy in the event of a separation.

Here are more specifics:

When cohabitant passes away, their property passes to whoever is named on the will. If they don't have a will, it passes on to their family members. To get anything, the living cohabitant will have to prove that they were more or less living together like a 'husband and wife' for at least two years before the death of the partner or were dependent on the deceased partner. With a married partner when there is no will, the property goes to the living partner and their children (if they have have children).
Cohabitants who stay at home to care for children cannot make any capital claims for themselves except on behalf of the children. Claims can only be made against a property if the partner can prove they contributed to its purchase.
A cohabitant has no right to remain in a property, if there partner is the named tenant and has asked them to leave for any reason. With married couples, a spouse can remain in the 'matrimonial home even if they are not named on the tenancy agreement, and only a formal divorce can change this.
Cohabitants are not eligible for a pension sharing order for either themselves or their children.
Cohabitants cannot access a partners bank accounts if their partner passes away, but married couples can.
There is no legal obligations making cohabiting couples financially support each other if the relationship ends, unlike married partners who under common law, have a duty to provide.

Replied: What is a good age for a woman to seriously start considering marriage?

Tue, 27 Apr 2021 18:58:17 +0000

The "I am financially stable and emotionally mature age."

I have seen people who had successful marriages and married as young as age 18. A popular example is Omotola Jalade. There are some like Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, who waited until later before considering marriage. Several factors can contribute to deciding what a person's "good age" is:

- If they are concerned about their youthfulness

- If they want to have children naturally or not or are considering other child-bearing alternatives

- If they are financially stable to bear the responsibility that comes with cohabiting with another person

- If they are emotionally ready to handle the responsibilities or commitments that come with marriage

- If they have a job or stream of income that provides financial stability, security, or freedom

- If they have accomplished the things they want for themselves or checked some items in their bucket lists

- If they are at a stage where they are open to flexibility, sharing, and compromise, which is married requires

- If the person they love is ready for marriage

I am still single to stupor, so I don't know all the factors yet, but these can be a good start. Every individual has what's important to them and a priority in a relationship. There is a good age depending on what the person hopes to accomplish from the marriage or what will help the person be successful in the marriage.

Replied: Is it impolite to request for cash gifts instead of presents from my wedding guests?

Tue, 27 Apr 2021 18:35:27 +0000

In my dictionary, this is the definition of polite!

I dislike shopping for gifts because then I have to worry if the person likes them or not; or if the gift is too cheap or expensive for the occasion. I equally hate receiving gifts that I have no use of. It has become a common practice in my family to give each other money during celebratory occasions like birthdays, Mother’s Day, etc. We put the money together and transfer it to the celebrant's accounts to decide what they want to do with it.

Now, if gifting money comes off too impolite, consider having a wedding registry and putting a strict note on the wedding invitation saying physical presents will not be accepted. Ps. the pandemic gives you a good excuse, lol! A wedding registry allows people to know exactly what you want that they can buy for you. Remember to put items of different price ranges so people can purchase what they can afford!

Replied: Are there acceptable reasons for a man to hide (on social media) that he is married with a family?

Tue, 27 Apr 2021 18:20:09 +0000

In my past life, I would have said no... but now, I'll be the one person hiding my relationship, lol!

When I was much younger, I hoped that whoever I'll be in a relationship with will "flaunt me or us to the world" as much as I would want to. But the older I get, the less I desire that either I or whoever I'll be in a relationship with would publicize it on social media. I wonder if I have this mentality because I am still in my "dating stage" compared to marriage, where for many people, it is like "together forever, till death do us part."

I am at that early twenties and experiencing a lot of transitioning, whereby I am losing friends and other relationships as fast as I am gaining them. It is exhausting to be deleting anyone's pictures off social media or from my photo gallery after we part ways. So, I hardly even take pictures with peers or romantic partners, let alone post them, because first, I just can't deal with the stress or shame of erasing such memories to move on if the necessity arises.

Most importantly, I think relationships are private businesses and contracts with the parties concerned. Often, posting one's relationship gives other people a certain level of entitlement to pass commentary or unsolicited advice; even from family members. Not posting pictures about one's romantic partner removes the entitlement others feel to have opinions about another person's experiences they know only a little about.

Yes, I understand that posting one's partner on social media gives a person some form of validation, ownership, or love. However, I don't think it is necessary for a relationship to thrive or survive. I also understand the suspicions of hiding one's romantic partners.

I think this is acceptable depending on the person's reasons and if they aren't malicious. After all, it is a person and their spouse in the relationship, not the person, their spouse, and their social media followers.

Replied: Would you be comfortable signing a (prenup) prenuptial agreement?

Fri, 23 Apr 2021 22:01:24 +0000

A Prenuptial Agreement Protects All of Us

Marriage is known for love. Although people don't make this conclusion, marriage is also known for its securtity and safety. When I come accross news of divorces gone sour, one of the strange things I do is also search for the couple's wedding photographs... It bothers me a lot that in such images, those two people who can't stand a sight of each other anymore, once couldn't do without seeing each other.

Life is unpredictable and everytime I think of that high school bestfriend I swore I'll never be apart from or that boyfriend I imagined I could be married to by now and our sour endings, I think that a prenuptial agreement is necessary in a marriage. It is as much of protecting my partner from who I can become if things fall apart and vice versa. It is also for protecting our children if we have any.

The best part of such agreements is that we can customize it to how we desire. Love is good marital insurance but I think its lack of measure often puts couples in trouble when it is no longer present. Some people will say that a prenuptial agreement sets a marriage up for failure and divorce but my response is this:

There are people without prenuptial agreement who still divorced anyways.
At least with a prenuptial agreement, I know the divorce will be a cleaner process that allows us to respect each other even without love present.

What's a reason that made you call off an official engagement?

Thu, 01 Apr 2021 08:33:49 +0000

An engagement is special because it's a significant step forward in a relationship. It means some time had passed within which a couple had gotten to know each other. The man had proposed to a woman and she had agreed to marry him. I'm interested in knowing what things could possible cause a call off at such progressed.

What events almost broke your relationship or marriage?

Tue, 30 Mar 2021 11:15:52 +0000

What, and how long to your first 'fight' as a married couple?

Thu, 18 Mar 2021 17:28:10 +0000

Are there advantages to couples keeping separate bedrooms?

Mon, 15 Mar 2021 14:33:47 +0000

Are there couples here who do this? How and why did you make this decision, and how has the experience been?

What’s one moment that convinced you, you married the right person for you?

Sun, 14 Mar 2021 21:25:31 +0000